Observations From a Restroom

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1. Caution!

When you're reading this post, please allow at least an hour before or after having a meal.

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2. Minimum rules and standards.

Just because it's public or at work doesn't free it from having minimum standards.

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3. Not a place for socializing.

The only thing I'd like to have a word with in a restroom is the toilet seat. And when I have it, I don't want to hear others' conversation either. I can tolerate a simple smile with a head nod; maybe accompanied by a hey, hi, or hello, but ..

"Hey Bobby"

"Hey Johnny"

"How's it going?"

"Pretty good. How are ya?"

"I'm alright. D'you get that e-mail Bruce sent?"

etc. etc.

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I don't want to hear that. And for heaven's sake, don't do it while you're urinating.

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4. Try to shake my hand, and I'll kill you.

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5. Brushing Teeth.

Brushing your teeth should only be done in a place where no body can see your teeth nor smell your toothpaste. Don't make it even worse by chit-chatting while you're brushing.

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6. On the issue of urinating.

Though I understand the pleasure that comes with it, when you're urinating, keep your Oooh's and Aaah's to yourself.

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Don't moan, please. I don't want to hear it.

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7. On the issue of farting.

Though I appreciate your courtesy by not stinking up your cubicle, but when you come to the restroom, still keep it silent, will ya?

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8. Take every other cubicle.

When you enter the restroom that has 6 toilet cubicles, and you see me occupying one and the rest are empty, don't use the one right next to mine. The sight of your shoes and lowered pants from underneath the partition is disgusting by itself.

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9. Wash your hands.

Why do Americans only wash their hands after #1, but not after #2?

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10. The bottle.

When you see me taking a bottle of water with me to the toilet, don't stare at me in surprise because if you give it a thought, you'll realize I'm being cleaner than you are.

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That's it.

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Avagoodone.