Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Observations From a Restroom

1. Caution!
When you're reading this post, please allow at least an hour before or after having a meal.
2. Minimum rules and standards.
Just because it's public or at work doesn't free it from having minimum standards.
3. Not a place for socializing.
The only thing I'd like to have a word with in a restroom is the toilet seat. And when I have it, I don't want to hear others' conversation either. I can tolerate a simple smile with a head nod; maybe accompanied by a hey, hi, or hello, but ..
"Hey Bobby"
"Hey Johnny"
"How's it going?"
"Pretty good. How are ya?"
"I'm alright. D'you get that e-mail Bruce sent?"
etc. etc.
I don't want to hear that. And for heaven's sake, don't do it while you're urinating.
4. Try to shake my hand, and I'll kill you.
5. Brushing Teeth.
Brushing your teeth should only be done in a place where no body can see your teeth nor smell your toothpaste. Don't make it even worse by chit-chatting while you're brushing.
6. On the issue of urinating.
Though I understand the pleasure that comes with it, when you're urinating, keep your Oooh's and Aaah's to yourself.
Don't moan, please. I don't want to hear it.
7. On the issue of farting.
Though I appreciate your courtesy by not stinking up your cubicle, but when you come to the restroom, still keep it silent, will ya?
8. Take every other cubicle.
When you enter the restroom that has 6 toilet cubicles, and you see me occupying one and the rest are empty, don't use the one right next to mine. The sight of your shoes and lowered pants from underneath the partition is disgusting by itself.
9. Wash your hands.
Why do Americans only wash their hands after #1, but not after #2?
10. The bottle.
When you see me taking a bottle of water with me to the toilet, don't stare at me in surprise because if you give it a thought, you'll realize I'm being cleaner than you are.
That's it.


PerseusQ8 said...

Jandeef, possible exception for #5 is airport bathrooms during (multi)-trans-continental flights. Sometimes you just gotta "freshen-up."

Otherwise agreed..

Possible addition: a ban on all reading material. The quicker the visit the better. In-and-out, and no New York Times.

Delicately Realistic said...

OK i have this wierd bathroom rule,whenever i go into a bathroom and find it busy i leave...cuz i dont like going into a cubicle and seeing the person who was there before me...for 2 reasons...i like to give the cubicle time to 'breath'and i hate to put a face to a 'mess' cuz lets face it... some ppl r plain rude and they never wipe away their sprinkles!


I have many bathroom rules...but thats all for now...by the way good going n the toothbrushing one, i thought that was only me! It disgusts me....! All that spitting & gurgling......eeeek!

Shopaholic Q8eya said...

What makes it worse, using the toilets at a fancy resturant in Kuwait and seeing "some" well-known girls stinking the place and leaving WITHOUT washing their hands! Ew how gross!! Just opening the door wants to me wash my hand over and over.

Jandeef said...

To me both rotten mouth and freshly brushed teeth stink, so I'd rather not see someone brush in front of me.

I agree on the reading material too!

I leave too when it's busy. In fact at work, I only go into it when it's completely empty.

And I though only men leave sprinkles :P

I keep my hands/skin contact in the bathroom to a minimum. I make good use of my foot.

K.thekuwaiti said...

I am more intrigued by these "well known girls"...

Diver said...

الصراحة ضحكتني
على سالفة البطل مرة في فيغاس دخلت الحمام و انا معاي التب مال الكوينز تارسة ماي كل الي بالحمام تعجبوا
بس تدري و ناسة تخليهم متعجبين

bo9ali7 said...

i like #10

Anonymous said...

That was interesting.
In France it's even worse, I've never seen French wash their hands after going to the toilets!
I never used public toilets for years until the day I've got sick!
I had sometimes to wait for 12 hours!
Now I have a whole personal equipments when I leave to the university!

Jandeef said...

K the Kuwaiti
Me too :P

Did you re-use that bucket?


Blue Ice Envy
Welcome to my blog.

I’m wondering what sort of equipment :P

love nature said...

a7la shay il fart part ...its soo funny when people cant control it loool

tweety said...

ana weswasya etha ba6la3 ay mukan lazem ma3ay beljan6ah :
dettol wipes
toilet seat wipes
hand sanitizer
cheny ray7a ri7lah !

the tooth.fairy said...

LOL, funny post.

I agree with tweety, I always carry these things 7asha ba'3assel il restroom :P

Bss # 10 cracked me up. LOOOL I can imagine the looks :P Reminded me of living in the dorm long time ago, when a bottle was kept inside the restroom.

Everytime I bring one, they dispose it, everytime I bring one , it's disposed :P Until I was asked, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU TAKE A BOTTLE :P accompanied with "the" look


AyyA said...

Need a tip?
As for # 7; try to pull the sides of your ars as wide away from the hole so that air can be released without sound :p

Jandeef said...

Love Nature
Elmishkila it's not about controlling it. Some people release it full throttle just to enjoy it! or sometimes to force it out.

Ashwa yam3awda now the seat cover became a public standard. In the past you'd have to carry some with ya.

B u t t e r f l y
Thank god I didn't have to live in the dorms! I can't imagine how lazy students are to even flush.

Walla I carry my bottle around :P I don't leave it coze I don't want anybody touching it.

As I read your comment, I remembered this scene from Shrek:

- Walking in the forest, Shrek burps ..
- Donkey: "Shrek, it's inappropriate to burp in front of her!"
- Fiona burps ..
- Donkey: "She's as nasty as you are!"

Thanks for the tip. I'll post it on the door

Erzulie said...

I push doors open with my foot.
When I need to touch something, I use a tissue. So I have a "Do Not Touch" rule when I'm there.

It's not the first time I heard of Ayya's suggestion; one married relative joked about it because she didn't want her husband to "hear" her. But if you're on the plate, flushing would block out any unwanted noise.

Jandeef said...


Flushing or loud coughs too :P

Safi said...

Sometimes you just gotta brush your teeth.